Competent Communicator

I chose a very close friend and colleague of mine to reflect upon for communication. We met through a training and couldn't be more opposite from each other. She is quiet and reserved, I tend to voice my opinion and rally the troops. She advocates by asking questions, I advocate by writing letters to newspapers and political offices. Over time we have gotten very close and I can honestly say that I trust her with my life. She has been my rock when things go crazy and I feel I can't keep up any more.


There are so many things that make her a competent communicator. First and foremost, she listens. Truly listens. Once she listens, she then empathizes and acknowledges feelings. I have watched in awe as I knew she was battling her own demons when we went out with a friend who was going through a divorce. Our friend shared her heartbreak and how difficult it is to move on and even get out of bed. Susan worked her magic and brought a smile to her face by the end of the conversation. I sat there dumbfounded and not a clue what to say.


I wish that I could find the words like Susan does and be able to make a connection like she does verbally. I never know what to say, but will listen. I am much better at writing to express my thoughts as I can take my time to formulate my point of view and consider my audience. My verbal communication has gotten me into trouble in more ways than I can count. I have learned the lesson that once it is said, it cannot be taken back. If I were Susan, my words wouldn't need to be taken back.

Professional Hopes and Goals

As I look to the future, my hope for children and families is that each person is recognized and celebrated for their differences. Each family provides a learning opportunity that can easily be missed in managing the daily hustle. I will strive to not only take the time with families and colleagues, but to listen....truly listen to their hopes, desires, expectations, and needs. My purpose will be to assist them in the acclimation to their new surroundings without sacrificing who they are.


My goal for the field of early learning is that we move beyond the token classroom diversity items to truly welcome our families. A welcoming environment needs to be more than a handful books with various races, multicultural dolls and play food. We need to share beliefs, traditions, recipes, and culture. Let the past help drive us to a new positive future. We need to make our classrooms meaningful and a 2nd home to all.


I would like to thank all of my colleagues who have read my posts and left comments. Your positive feedback in this journey has been astounding. A special thank you to Susan who's posts are always so articulate on the discussion boards and her blog. I commend you for your passion in striving for equality for all. You are a role model and I have learned so much from you.

Bosnia

     For this week's assignment, I chose the country of Bosnia. We have many families from Bosnia in our city yet none of them have transitioned to my facility as of yet. I would begin my researching the country to learn more about the general culture of Bosnia such as what languages are spoken and what religions are practiced prior to them enrolling. I would talk with the family and utilize an interpreter if needed to expand upon these topics and gain insight into their family beliefs and expectations of my program. In doing internet research, I have learned that most Bosnian families are Muslim and they live in larger communities. I recognize that I would need to put my biases aside and value the family as one with different experiences that we can all learn from. I envision myself meeting with the local Multicultural Resource Center to obtain more information and look for ways to ensure the family felt valued in our program. I would be looking for activities or practices that we could incorporate into our day as well as triggers for unintentional biased messages. I believe that I would incorporate the lead teacher if not the entire team into this planning and be as open in communication as possible. We would need to consider the learning and socialization styles of the child and family. If they are reserved and preferred to play alone, how can we support them where they are without trivializing their beliefs.


     Overall, I believe that these preparations would be meaningful to the family and my center by providing a peace of mind. My goal would be to have at least a small part of home in their surroundings. In the process, the awareness of differences and likenesses would be expanded.

Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

During my high school and college years, I worked at a local mom and pop type grocery store/deli. We did a booming business and funneled through many customers throughout the day. In working with people, many opportunities arise to observe interactions amongst parties. I had worked with a great guy who was very upbeat and sang while he worked. Everyone loved working with him and many of our customers came in to see him "perform". One day we had an elderly gentleman who appeared to be in a bad mood and wanted some items from the deli. My coworker called his number and cheerfully asked what he could get for him. The man looked at him and rolled his eyes then told him that he would wait for me to wait on him as he didn't want a black man touching his lunchmeat. I was mortified and didn't know how to respond to such ignorance. Here was a man who loved his job and loved serving people. Not many people come to work with a smile on their face especially with a job that barely pays above minimum wage. I saw his shoulders drop and spring briefly leave his step. My coworker's demeanor changed, but only briefly. It was like he swallowed a bad pill then looked at the man and asked again what he could get for him. I informed that man that I could not wait on him but that my coworker would be happy to assist him. The customer muttered something under his breath and walked out of the store. The surrounding customers began to comment on the man's ignorance and support my coworker. After the man left, my coworker excused himself to the break room and cried.


I see that the bias the man had cut my coworker like a knife. I often wonder what the response would be if he came back into the store. I feel I should have spoke up and said something more supportive of my coworker, but I was honestly in shock. We both do the same jobs and his color has nothing to do with the service he provides. I worked through the remaining customers and then gave him a hug. He explained that in the past he may have gotten funny looks from people, but has never had someone be so brazen to make a comment like that to his face. I understand I may have bias as the customer was older and I assume that when he was younger that race mattered in some degree. I believe we need to change the mindset of the public and look at the service provided. I believe the customer's attitude and acceptance would need changed to provide greater equity.

Microaggressions

Prior to this course, I would take comments about others in passing and not pay too much attention to them. This week I have reflected upon a couple examples of things I have overheard and have been said to me.






The Canadian
I overheard several people talking in a break room. One of the girls was sharing an incident of meeting a new guy who apparently was also interested in her friend but didn't realize the girls knew each other. The girl telling the story laughed about the situation and follows up with, "What do you expect? He's from Canada. They're just not that smart up there."






In this example, I wonder what the man would have felt if he had overheard this comment or if there were any other people in the break room who were of Canadian descent.






Age and Wisdom
I had a teacher who brought in excellent play based learning experiences and different projects with the kids. Our center has moved to individualized plans written by all staff including the assistants. In trying to work through this change, she shared with me how she has raised six children and they all have done well. She commented on her age and how paperwork wasn't her forte'. She explained that the paperwork was for the younger staff. All she wanted to do was play.






In this example, the judgment is made that only young staff can keep up with the demands of the paperwork. I also saw the correlation that her experience as a mother inadvertently made her a better teacher than the teachers without children. Both assumptions are untrue.






I do see that our society tends to find ways to share how they are better than others. There appears to be a limelight obsession with how great an individual is rather than celebrating the differences that make us who we are.

Diversity and Equity Interviews

I found this week's assignment very insightful and in the process, realized I needed to avoid some touchy items due to my cultural beliefs. I interviewed three of my staff this week on what their ideas of diversity and culture meant to them and the differences. While two of the people I interviewed were newer to the field, one was a veteran teacher who is compassionate about diversity and equity. The veteran teacher shared everything we have learned so far about the differences in surface culture and deep culture. She shared that culture is "everything we are and everything we aren't". To her, diversity is comprised of the differences amongst our characteristics, but she did not feel that special needs traits were included in diversity. I did not understand why she felt this way as a special need could also be considered a social identity. I knew I needed to acknowledge that we felt differently, but also needed to respect her thought process.


Interestingly, the newer staff members I interviewed focused more on the surface traits of culture such as food, clothing, ethnicity, and skin color.  Each of them talked of the differences we possess in socio-economic levels, relationships, and beliefs, but equated that more to the term of diversity.


I had a lengthy conversation with my veteran teacher on the terms which caused me to reflect on some of my own beliefs. She shared with me how she is agnostic and wrote a senior paper on why God should be removed from the Pledge of Allegiance. I am a Christian and believe that the government rests upon His shoulders. I wanted to understand why she felt that way and she explained that she learned that God was added to the Pledge to help differentiate children and people on their religious beliefs. It was believed that if they did not say God, they were Communists and would be killed. I had not considered that this was a possibility. We also went on to discuss our country's foundational beliefs. She believes that America is the land of opportunity and freedom and that anyone from any country should be able to make a better life for themselves here. I see her point, but also see the strain that this puts onto our system. I shared that we cannot financially take care of the people who currently live here, but she retorted what if America felt that way when our ancestors came over? We wouldn't be here either. This exercise has made me question my own belief system. I was once the person who thought that culture was only what you can see. I am beginning to understand who much deeper culture actually is.

Three Items

      In all honesty, I struggled with what to chose to bring with me to my fictitious new country. I have read about families who have left their worldly possessions behind to begin a new life in the United States and only had their clothes on their backs. At first, I thought about bring my genealogical research with me as I worked on this project for years and have my roots traced back to the 1700s. I wouldn't want to lose that, but does that represent our family? I was absolutely sure I would take my computer, but with not knowing about electricity and chargers, it may be obsolete in no time.






 I then reflected upon what our daily routines are and life in general and came up with these three items:






1. My Bible - Not knowing what would lie ahead in the new country and what belief system would be instilled, I would find comfort in knowing that God is with us and will help us make sense of the new surroundings. We have recently began attending church on a regular basis and have learned so much over these last few months. I want to continue in our faith walk.




2. Our dog Zoey - We have had her in our family for 4 years. She has had some anxiety issues and we are her rock. She is like having a fourth child. My children believe the sun rises and sets with her and we could never leave her behind. I would hope no one would attempt to eat her.




3. A soccer ball - My husband is an avid fan of soccer and has instilled the love of the game into all of our children. Many nights we head outside just to kick it around.






If I were told I needed to give up 2 items upon arrival, I would be devastated. I do not know how I would chose as each of these items have a huge significance to who my family has become. I'm sure we could improvise with something to make a soccer ball, but giving up my Bible and my dog are out of the question. I sound like a country song!






The exercise this week truly hit home. I felt the connection and loss of identity in reflecting upon what to take and how I would feel if I were forced to give items up. I felt protective of my items as this would be all I would have left of a life once lived. Even now that I have chosen 3 items, I feel anxious about that decision and wonder if something else would have been better. How can we equate our lives to three items? The panelists in our video this week were right....culture is everything of who we are and what we represent (Laureate Educ., Inc., n.d.).


Reference
Laureate Educ., Inc. (n.d.). Family cultures: Dynamic interactions. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_4210478_1%26url%3D