I chose a very close friend and colleague of mine to reflect upon for communication. We met through a training and couldn't be more opposite from each other. She is quiet and reserved, I tend to voice my opinion and rally the troops. She advocates by asking questions, I advocate by writing letters to newspapers and political offices. Over time we have gotten very close and I can honestly say that I trust her with my life. She has been my rock when things go crazy and I feel I can't keep up any more.
There are so many things that make her a competent communicator. First and foremost, she listens. Truly listens. Once she listens, she then empathizes and acknowledges feelings. I have watched in awe as I knew she was battling her own demons when we went out with a friend who was going through a divorce. Our friend shared her heartbreak and how difficult it is to move on and even get out of bed. Susan worked her magic and brought a smile to her face by the end of the conversation. I sat there dumbfounded and not a clue what to say.
I wish that I could find the words like Susan does and be able to make a connection like she does verbally. I never know what to say, but will listen. I am much better at writing to express my thoughts as I can take my time to formulate my point of view and consider my audience. My verbal communication has gotten me into trouble in more ways than I can count. I have learned the lesson that once it is said, it cannot be taken back. If I were Susan, my words wouldn't need to be taken back.
Arlene- I think you have found the key to good communication: listening! Many people just want someone to listen to them, without judgement or interruption. Your friend sounds like a great model of communication, and you do too.
ReplyDeleteArlene, your post illustrated the fact that we all have different communication styles. You yourself noted the importance of listening. The fact that you are committed to listening is an indication of your own strong communication skills. I can identify with your preference for written communication, especially in situations that require more formal and precise communication. We have time to consider our words and the impact they will have on others. I enjoyed your thoughtful post and your ideas on this topic added to my learning—thank you!
ReplyDelete-Susan