I believe that this week's lesson has come at an amazing time for reflection. I have recently moved on in my role as a child care director as managing people has proven difficult for me. A recent disagreement that sticks out regarded a person who was a long time employee. She was on leave for her protected time and needed additional time which was granted, but we also let her know that we were looking at applicants. Towards the end of her leave, she resigned and we hired her replacement. Her best friend approached me to talk about her feelings on the situation. She did not appreciate that I could so easily let a long time staff person go so easily and shared how much she brought to the program. She continued to question the management decisions that were made. I validated her feelings and shared that it was difficult to make the decision as I valued this person as a person as well. I shared some of the reasons I was close with this person as well. We then went on to discuss that this was purely a business decision. We needed to move the team forward and regroup as the team has suffered a high rate of turnover. She inquired why I never called the teacher and I explained that I was scared she wouldn't talk. I was also afraid I might say something that would violate HR laws and be perceived differently than intended so I avoided the conversation and let HR handle it. After the friend left the office, I needed a moment to collect myself and took her comments personally. I saw that this was a personal decision for her, yet for me it was a business decision. I talked with the Employee Assistance Counselor to walk me through these feelings and she explained I just needed to email myself to remind that it was for the better and the benefits of moving on. I would be curious to know what I could have done differently. I have facilitated an environment of the staff not trusting me which has resulted in my change in jobs. I felt I shared openly as best I could (without violating any other person's rights) and I listened. I asked probing questions and offered suggestions, yet I was painted as the bad guy and lost my job.
As part of the reflection process, I see that I could have been more open with all the staff in the process. With the many rules and laws that govern a person's rights, I find it hard to strike a balance. Everything I have learned about in leadership courses is to be transparent with staff. How do I be transparent yet protect confidentiality? What could I have done differently? I miss my role, my families, and the majority of the staff. I understand I need to work through these issues before I can take on another position.
Arlene, leading staff through such conflicts is incredibly challenging, isn’t it? Reading your post, it sounds as though you were trying to be responsive to the needs of staff by engaging with them about their feelings on the staff member who was let go. My take on this, having been in similar situations, brings some of the following ideas:
ReplyDeleteAs soon as a staff member is dismissed, a respectful (but difficult!) thing to do is to hold a meeting to share the news with the other staff—hopefully before they speak with that staff member. The tone of the meeting is to let them know that the staff member will no longer be working with us. Although you cannot share information about the reasons, you wanted to let them know about this situation. Ask that they trust that all personnel decisions are made for the good of children and the staff as a whole. This is a meeting where you can proactively address how any changes in staffing might affect the rest of the employees. However, they need to understand appropriate communication boundaries, and not think that managers will engage with staff about individual personnel matters—including the reasons why someone was dismissed.
Although this is never a pleasant meeting, the staff will respect you if situations are handled in this way. Trust that they will hear a different and possibly damaging version of events from the discharged staff member, and it may be impossible to avoid gossip. Do not engage in this in any way. Do not expect the staff who worked with this person to be happy, but time will heal the situation if you continue to behave in a professional and respectful manner.
If any staff approaches you one-on-one to talk about why a staff member was discharged, respectfully remind them that you cannot discuss individual personnel matters.
Sharing negative information is one of the most difficult facets of communication. Dismissal of staff is, in my experience, is a very hard situation for all involved—for managers as much as employees. Sometimes it is necessary to terminate staff for any number of reasons. The hope is that any changes made will improve the care and education that will be provided for the children we serve.
Hi Arlene,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had to go through all of that. Just know that all of your colleagues are here for support as well as learning course material. I recently had a conversation with the director at my center. I told her that it is difficult for me to put aside my personal feelings in certain situations, and she told me that one of the hardest parts of being a director for her is to not take things personally. We do what we have to do, and we can't always make everyone happy. I realize it's a cliche thing to say, but sometimes we just have to remember what we are truly here to do and who our jobs benefit.
Hi Arlene,
ReplyDeleteI tend to take things personally and have to talk my self out of using emotions at time. I actually tend to do better at being more objective when it is on the spot. THe more time I have to think about it, my emotions are start to take over.
This sounds like it was very hard for you to do. I want to eventually be a child care director and that is one thing I am not looking forward to is getting through the drama at the work place. Currently, at my work, there is a lot of drama all the time, it gets old really fast. I don't know how my director even can handle it all the time!
ReplyDeleteHi Arlene,
ReplyDeleteThe whole situation sounds very unfortunate. I have yet to hold a position as a director of a childhood facility. However I have managed people over the past. I found that it is always good to be fair and think of the pros and the cons. I think that it is important to be confident and stand behind any decision that you helped make. If you have your own thoughts worked out this will better help you communicate clearly of where you are coming from. Sometimes we think that showing someone respect is letting them speak. Although we have to make sure we are truly listening. I am happy to see that you are taking the time to make sure you know yourself as a person and manager of people in whatever form your next position will come in. I know you will grow and not let this situation hold you stagnant. Good Luck:)
Sherry
I am sorry to hear about the difficult decisions that you had to make regarding a staff member. It is hard to be put in these positions where emotions want to take over, and then protocol stops you in your tracks. I really like what Susan said in her response, she makes a clear point as to how these situations can be handled differently. It is an amazing thing to be in these classes with all of these talented educators, and we are all able to learn from one another. Keep your head up, and I hope that you find peace with the situation. Thank you for sharing your story!
ReplyDelete