Continuing the Journey

     This course came in for a prime time for reflection for me and my career. I was displaced from my position as a child care director and upon reflecting about the reasons why, I found it boiled down to communication. Prior to this course, I was less likely to listen to other perspectives if they were not in line with the mission and vision of my center. I have learned to remove the emotion from decision making and ask more questions along the way. I have learned to listen closely and attempt to understand the other's point of view, which I had not done as well previously.I was also able to validate my leadership strengths and ability to collaborate with families and agencies. I am excited to apply these new skills and knowledge to the next journey that awaits me and feeling very excited to delve into the next course on team building.

    In closing, I wanted to share that it has been such a pleasure reading the discussion and blog posts each week. The growth that has occurred in all of us is truly amazing and much of that learning has been through supporting each other.

It's So Hard to Say Good-Bye

One of the most successful groups that I was on involved the planning for our high school reunion. Our class president stepped down from planning after our 5 year reunion and I took over and planned the next 3 reunions with different classmates each time. This last reunion, I worked with a classmate who lived in Michigan while I live in Pennsylvania. We had several face-to-face meetings over the course of a year and numerous online chats via Facebook. We had to work through the last minute cancellation of a DJ as well as last minute questions & reservations by classmates. All in all, the reunion was a success and classmates are still talking about the events three years after the festivities. Stephanie and I became close friends during the planning process despite the distance, but as the need to communicate on a regular basis after the reunion diminished, so did our connections. Gradually more and more time went between phone calls and chat messages to the point where we only see each other twice per year. Looking back, our goal was accomplished so it would be necessary to adjourn that part of our relationship, but our friend connection has continued in a different capacity (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012).

I've worked in other successful group projects at work and have found the same conclusion that while the work is done, it is difficult to transition to a different form of relationship. I also worked on a planning committee for an early learning expo where I had continual contact with other directors. During our planning process, we would talk about issues and successes at work while serving as a sounding board for one another. Once the expo ended, that personal connection also ended. I wish we would have set up further meeting dates just to connect with other administrators who "get it". This team was the hardest to leave as I felt that I would be returning to the role of director with no one to talk things through with.

There have been several names that I see continually in each of the groups I have worked in throughout my studies here. It is a pleasure to learn about their experiences and know that I am not alone in struggles. While graduation is not too terribly far away, I believe we will all need a sense of closure but also the ability to connect again if needed.

Adjourning brings closure to the team. There have been times where adjourning has been the only positive effect of the team as in the results being less than stellar. Other times adjourning can be emotional, either because the team has done so well and there is excitement about the accomplishment or because close bonds have formed and the team may not have the option to work together again.

Reference:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's

Conflict & Reflection

I believe that this week's lesson has come at an amazing time for reflection. I have recently moved on in my role as a child care director as managing people has proven difficult for me. A recent disagreement that sticks out regarded a person who was a long time employee. She was on leave for her protected time and needed additional time which was granted, but we also let her know that we were looking at applicants. Towards the end of her leave, she resigned and we hired her replacement. Her best friend approached me to talk about her feelings on the situation. She did not appreciate that I could so easily let a long time staff person go so easily and shared how much she brought to the program. She continued to question the management decisions that were made. I validated her feelings and shared that it was difficult to make the decision as I valued this person as a person as well. I shared some of the reasons I was close with this person as well. We then went on to discuss that this was purely a business decision. We needed to move the team forward and regroup as the team has suffered a high rate of turnover. She inquired why I never called the teacher and I explained that I was scared she wouldn't talk. I was also afraid I might say something that would violate HR laws and be perceived differently than intended so I avoided the conversation and let HR handle it. After the friend left the office, I needed a moment to collect myself and took her comments personally. I saw that this was a personal decision for her, yet for me it was a business decision. I talked with the Employee Assistance Counselor to walk me through these feelings and she explained I just needed to email myself to remind that it was for the better and the benefits of moving on. I would be curious to know what I could have done differently. I have facilitated an environment of the staff not trusting me which has resulted in my change in jobs. I felt I shared openly as best I could (without violating any other person's rights) and I listened. I asked probing questions and offered suggestions, yet I was painted as the bad guy and lost my job.

As part of the reflection process, I see that I could have been more open with all the staff in the process. With the many rules and laws that govern a person's rights, I find it hard to strike a balance. Everything I have learned about in leadership courses is to be transparent with staff. How do I be transparent yet protect confidentiality? What could I have done differently? I miss my role, my families, and the majority of the staff. I understand I need to work through these issues before I can take on another position.