During my high school and college years, I worked at a local mom and pop type grocery store/deli. We did a booming business and funneled through many customers throughout the day. In working with people, many opportunities arise to observe interactions amongst parties. I had worked with a great guy who was very upbeat and sang while he worked. Everyone loved working with him and many of our customers came in to see him "perform". One day we had an elderly gentleman who appeared to be in a bad mood and wanted some items from the deli. My coworker called his number and cheerfully asked what he could get for him. The man looked at him and rolled his eyes then told him that he would wait for me to wait on him as he didn't want a black man touching his lunchmeat. I was mortified and didn't know how to respond to such ignorance. Here was a man who loved his job and loved serving people. Not many people come to work with a smile on their face especially with a job that barely pays above minimum wage. I saw his shoulders drop and spring briefly leave his step. My coworker's demeanor changed, but only briefly. It was like he swallowed a bad pill then looked at the man and asked again what he could get for him. I informed that man that I could not wait on him but that my coworker would be happy to assist him. The customer muttered something under his breath and walked out of the store. The surrounding customers began to comment on the man's ignorance and support my coworker. After the man left, my coworker excused himself to the break room and cried.
I see that the bias the man had cut my coworker like a knife. I often wonder what the response would be if he came back into the store. I feel I should have spoke up and said something more supportive of my coworker, but I was honestly in shock. We both do the same jobs and his color has nothing to do with the service he provides. I worked through the remaining customers and then gave him a hug. He explained that in the past he may have gotten funny looks from people, but has never had someone be so brazen to make a comment like that to his face. I understand I may have bias as the customer was older and I assume that when he was younger that race mattered in some degree. I believe we need to change the mindset of the public and look at the service provided. I believe the customer's attitude and acceptance would need changed to provide greater equity.
Arlene, your post about such abject cruelty to your co-worker was absolutely heartwrenching. I know that your story will stay with me, serving as a reminder of the damage brought about by bias and prejudice. I’m sure that your coworker carried the pain of that incident for the rest of his life. I hope that your coworker was eventually able to overcome oppression he suffered at the ignorance of that malicious patron. Thank you for sharing this important message about the impact of prejudice, which can be found where we least expect it. -Susan
ReplyDeleteArlene,
ReplyDeleteThis story is heartbreaking, I literally almost came to tears reading it. It is hard to believe that there are still people in this world who are so outrageously racist that they would behave like this. Sometimes it is hard to speak up even when we know it's the right thing to do, I wrote about a similar experience involving age discrimination this week in my blog, and I wasn't able to speak up either even though I knew I should have. All that we can do now that we have the knowledge and experiences of dealing with these biases is do our best not to engage in them and educate others on how devastating their words and actions can be to others. Very inspiring post!
Arlene,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story. Unfortunately incidents like this still happens more than they should....even in this day in time. I have ran into my share of prejudice and when you don't think like that at all; it hurts even more.
Sherry
I cannot believe how cruel people can be. I would have been just as shocked as you for such a demeaning outburst that is so unexpected. I would have risked my job and told the man flat out that he can take his rude comments and business someplace else because his cruelty was not welcomed there. I mean if he did not want a black man touching his food, then how is it any different for a person to say they don’t want to sell their food to a rude man. I feel that racist comments like that have gotten worse because so many people are getting away with it. Especially in businesses where they have adopted the mission statement that customers are always right and get whatever they want. The fact that people are not kicked out of stores or restraints for their rude behavior, in fear of losing business, makes me angry because it seems like they are justifying and accepting that behavior. I don’t know, it may just be me.
ReplyDeleteArlene,
ReplyDeleteYou did the right thing by not serving the man. It saddens me that we still have people in our country that truly hate black people. As a country we must teach our children better. Thank you for sharing.