My first person in my childhood web is my birthmother. I have known since a very young age that I was adopted as my parents believed that it was best to hear this news from them rather than stumble upon her in a super market. I was always told to be prepared for what information I may receive as she might not want to be contacted. I waited until I was in my 20s to find her after being in a serious car accident. Once I found her, I was thrilled but my parents never prepared me for how they would react and I found myself protective over my parents and didn't want her to replace the mother that raised me. I never realized the love she must have had for me to give me up to a family she didn't know until I gave birth to my first child. While I have never met her in person, we converse through emails and cards as I'm just not ready to explain this relationship to my own children. Thank you to Becky for giving me life.
My 2nd connection is my godmother and namesake. She was a nurse who took care of my father with his heart condition. My father had a major surgery completed in which a pig valve was used to replace a faulty heart valve and she was the nurse who assisted in maintaining my father's life. As a tribute to her care and love for my family, I was named after her and she became my godmother. She has helped to develop a relationship based on faith. My fondest memories with her are making chocolate candies at Christmas while spending the night at her house. To this day we meet twice a year to celebrate Christmas and our birthdays (both in the month of June). Thank you to Aunt Arlene for giving me a name.
My last connections are of those who raised me and my "little" brother. My dad always told me the story of receiving the phone call that I had arrived. He saw me looking a mess with a onsie that was too big and my hair a mess, yet I reached up and grabbed his finger. He knew then that I was the one. Many nights, while my mom worked, he would tell me stories of his childhood and share his favorite memories of me and would get teary eyed, then blame it on his allergies. He passed away in 1992 from a heart condition. I would love to hear those stories again. My mom is my best friend and has always been the one I turn to in time of need. She is the one who nursed me when I had chicken pox and broken hearts. She was the one who would go shopping with me and as I have grown, help me to be the mother I am today. I still look back and laugh when I called her in a panic because I didn't know who to take a rectal temp. She came over and walked me through it. My "little" brother is my life line. While he says I am more like a 2nd mother, he has taught me so much. I remember making tents out of our beds and watching "Jetsons" while eating Doritos when we were young. There is 8 years between us and sometimes I do feel that it's a lifetime as we are in different places in our lives, but I love him dearly and I know he loves me as well. Thank you to my family who raised me: Dad (Bill), Mom (Barb) and brother (Jason).
Arlene, thank you for sharing your stories of these wonderful people who have meant so much to you. I truly enjoyed reading them. It is great that you have been able to have contact with your birthmother without compromising the relationship you have with your adoptive parents, and I can understand your hesitation in sharing this relationship with your own children. I hope that one day you are able to share this with them and that she can have a part in their lives as well.
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